i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
