Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ladies don't puke and tell
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
