you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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