Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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