just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How's work?
Spinning.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
