but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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