We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
