I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
