Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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