he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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