No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
