i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
