Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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