what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
