I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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