thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We are two peas in an std pod
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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