How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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