Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
