He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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