I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
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