there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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