I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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