Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize