Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
