It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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