I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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