I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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