lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize