Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize