put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
