He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My life is pants optional.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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