we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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