my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize