I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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