I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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