Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
