your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
