We need to rekindle our bromance
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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