Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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