Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this boner is exhausting
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
