Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
