his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
