Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Boobs are out for the taking
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
