New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
