Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i think i just lost a toe
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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