Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
