$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
