I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
