Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize