Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
