when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
