dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He? As in you personified your dick?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
