Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
A bitchslap is in order.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
is it fun? or sober?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
