11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
