and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
