I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
