he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
