Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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