Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
