As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
